Self Reflection

Just before I Wander off into Vanity
AS Notre Dome rebuilding offers are streaming in as offers to stone and glass but nothing for the yellow vests..that aside?

I consider me not very wise not bright and not a genius, but something has become evident in my life time of mid-youth or mid-aged.

I have realized a few miracles and things that cannot be explained.In myself, I struggled a lot in school to master a simple maths solution and I still do,I see many obstacles in things I do the first time unless I really have the inner drive to venture into them..’’

My greatest strength I have started to realize is as I talk things of value or contributed in a chat of great importance I find myself saying instant solutions I did not even come up with and I did not even know myself, and I find me amazing myself and people around me.

I have in many ways lacked a solution but once I remembered when Moses was sent by God to go rescue the children of Israel from Pharaoh and he told God he did not know how to talk or what to say and God told him He would tell him what to say when he was before Pharaoh.

And in the same manner, I realize I asked God to Help me and to show me what to say because many times I found out that the things I said did not pull or pool people to me mostly I offended them and rarely made friends.

Today as I Write this on the day of 19/04/19 I remember yesterday I found my self in two instances over bright and unknowingly saying things that exceeded my thinking. and I remember the same day I had a problem even saying one word as if I was stammering, and I felt great fear that I might be losing part of my brain.

I hope to do the best I can when I can because I realize there is not guarantee for tomorrow and I will record as much music samples as I can at home because  I rarely get no extra money for kids fees and rent and home needs to even spare for the studio.